{"id":33838,"date":"2019-01-19T11:30:07","date_gmt":"2019-01-19T11:30:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/counsellingtu.onpressidium.com\/?p=33838"},"modified":"2023-08-15T09:37:17","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T08:37:17","slug":"how-to-dress-as-a-counsellor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/counsellingtutor.com\/how-to-dress-as-a-counsellor\/","title":{"rendered":"099 \u2013 How to Dress as a Counsellor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t\t\t\t\"How\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t

099 – How to Dress as a Counsellor<\/h1>\n\t

Friendships with Clients – Progression Routes after Level 3<\/h2>\n\t
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In episode 99 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes discuss the thorny issue of whether it’s possible to become friends with a former client<\/strong>. In ‘Practice Matters’, Rory discusses how to dress as a counsellor<\/strong>. He explores his experience of appropriate attire as a counsellor<\/strong>, and – without telling listeners how to dress – asks listeners to consider how what you wear might affect the therapeutic relationship<\/strong>. Last, the presenters talk about possible progression routes after level 3<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\t

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Friendships with Clients (starts at 2.02 mins)<\/h2>\n\t\n

While the answer to the first is a definite no (you’d need to signpost them to other counsellors), the answer to the second may be less clear-cut.<\/p>\n

The BACP’s guidance<\/a> on this (paragraph 37) states:<\/p>\n

‘We will avoid continuing or resuming any relationships with former clients<\/strong> that could harm the client or damage any benefits from the therapeutic work undertaken. We recognise that conflicts of interest and issues of power or dependence may continue<\/strong> after our working relationship with a client, supervisee or trainee has formally ended.’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

While Rory and Ken have managed to navigate a boundaried relationship as friends and colleagues after initially meeting as teacher and student, it is much more perilous to become friends with a former client.<\/p>\n

Rory explains that this relates to Petruska Clarkson’s concept of the reparative relationship<\/strong> (one aspect of her five-relationship model<\/a>) being an important element in counselling.<\/p>\n

In this relationship, the therapist serves as a parent figure<\/strong>, providing a solidity<\/strong> and stability<\/strong> that allows the client to experience personal growth safely<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The resultant power imbalance<\/strong> (which tends to be present to some extent: however much we try to equalise this, it can only really be minimised) could be really confusing in a subsequent friendship.<\/p>\n

Even more importantly, seeing<\/strong> the therapist as a full person outside their professional role<\/strong> (where, for example, there may well be moments of lapse in demonstrating the facilitative conditions) could erode the work achieved in counselling<\/strong>. It is this risk that the BACP guidance refers to.<\/p>\n

If you feel tempted to become friends with a former client, ask yourself what in you would be satisfied by doing so<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

As therapists, we may have to sacrifice our own wishes in order to maintain their progress. Above all, do take the issue to supervision (and possibly also to personal therapy).<\/p>\n\t

How to Dress as a Counsellor (starts at 13.45 mins)<\/h2>\n\t

Rory looks at how and why the way you choose to dress as a counsellor could affect the therapeutic relationship<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

This topic on what to wear as a counsellor crops up fairly frequently in our Facebook group<\/a>, which includes over 21,000 people (students, tutors and qualified counsellors) interested in the world of counselling and psychotherapy.<\/p>\n

Rory offers a number of key tips on how to dress as a counsellor:<\/h4>\n