{"id":33759,"date":"2018-12-15T11:30:14","date_gmt":"2018-12-15T11:30:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/counsellingtu.onpressidium.com\/?p=33759"},"modified":"2023-08-15T12:03:09","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T11:03:09","slug":"098-use-of-questions-in-counselling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/counsellingtutor.com\/098-use-of-questions-in-counselling\/","title":{"rendered":"098 \u2013 Use of Questions in Counselling"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t\t\t\t\"Use\n\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t

098 – Use of Questions in Counselling<\/h1>\n\t

Can a Counsellor Be Too Nice? – Understanding Your Attachment Style<\/h2>\n\t
<\/div>
<\/div>\n\t\"subscribe_itunes<\/a>\n\t

In episode 98 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes discuss whether it’s possible for a counsellor to be too nice<\/strong>. In ‘Practice Matters’, Rory then talks about the appropriate use of questions in counselling<\/strong>. Finally, the presenters explore attachment styles<\/strong>, and how these can affect the therapeutic relationship.<\/p>\n\t

<\/div>\n\t\n\t

Can a Counsellor Be Too Nice? (starts at 2.07 mins)<\/h2>\n\t

In his book Against Therapy<\/a><\/em> (Common Courage Press, 1993), Jeffrey Masson criticises person-centred therapy as being a ‘cult of kindly benevolence’<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Indeed, the stereotypical view of counsellors<\/strong> can be as people who simply smile and nod<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The truth, however, is that we need to be able to hold a mirror up to our clients<\/strong>, reflecting the effects of their behaviour and challenging this when appropriate.<\/p>\n

If you can’t or won’t challenge (which does take courage), you run the risk of colluding with the client<\/strong>. Collusion is when the client looks for your buy-in to something they say<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Challenging is not the same as judging<\/strong>. Congruence<\/strong> on the part of the counsellor is vital for effective person-centred counselling<\/strong>, and it is this core condition that underlies the skill of challenge.<\/p>\n

Brian Thorne, a well-known British lecturer and writer on person-centred counselling, reports that Carl Rogers – when visiting the UK – claimed that British people were ‘too damned polite’ for this modality<\/strong> to be effective here.<\/p>\n

We must guard against this, by looking out for and avoiding collusion<\/strong>, and being willing to challenge<\/strong> (once we have established a supportive relationship with the client).<\/p>\n\t

Appropriate Use of Questions in Counselling (starts at 11.52 mins)<\/h2>\n\t

In this section, Rory describes the proper use of questions in counselling-how questions should be used only minimally in counselling<\/strong>, and how their use varies between the therapeutic relationship<\/strong> and other relationships (e.g. in social situations with friends).<\/p>\n

One of the most contentious questions in practice is ‘why’<\/strong>. Rory examines the rationale for avoiding this<\/strong>, and also explores the different uses of open and closed questions<\/strong> in counselling.<\/p>\n\t